look no pants
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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