found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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