Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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