so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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