my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
