u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
