Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
