people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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