How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize