You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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