just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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