I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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