and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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