bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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