I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
