There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
