I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
