i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
