It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
