fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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