I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
