Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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