Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
