Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
