who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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