You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize