Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
