Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I pour the whiskey from now on
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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