You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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