They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
