whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
