are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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