this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
