Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
