so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
