Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
