I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
