Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
