I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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