I smell stomach acid.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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