i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
