dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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