All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
a search helicopter?!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
