WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
