Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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