the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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