I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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