you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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