Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
