After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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