I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize