I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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