office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
FUCK WHALES
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
