Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize