Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
