maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
