I cannot find my penis.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
