69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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